What Pain Can Do To You

"Jesus have learned obedience not by the things He enjoyed but by the things He suffered."

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How much pain can a person endure? Is there a limit?

Some say the human body can tolerate only up to a certain level of pain—numbers I can’t even begin to comprehend. Others argue it depends on strength: that the strong survive longer while the weak simply collapse under the weight of it.

What I do know is this—no one enjoys pain.

No one enjoys watching a loved one suffer.
No one wants their heart broken.
No one wants sickness, loss, or discipline.

We do everything we can to protect ourselves and the people we love from misery, for as long as possible.

I have my own share of despair.

My husband and I once lost our business. It was my first time managing one, and after a year, we were forced to shut it down. I hit rock bottom. Honestly, it was the worst season of my life.

Before that, I was the woman who thought she had no real problems. Life felt simple. Light. Happy.

Losing the business changed everything.

A dear friend of mine—an exceptional businesswoman with over twenty years of experience—once told me that my business loss was nothing compared to what she had been through. At the time, I couldn’t understand what she meant. I was too overwhelmed, too shaken, too broken to see beyond my own pain.

Optimism felt impossible. Light felt distant.

Anxiety became my daily companion. Stress consumed me. Every day, I prayed that God would simply cancel the pain—it felt unbearable.

I got lost.

For four months, I turned to drinking at night, thinking it would help me forget. But pain doesn’t want to be ignored. Pain demands to be felt.

Eventually, my husband and I decided to return to our hometown after shutting down the business. The change of environment helped—but my questions remained. I hadn’t fully moved on.

I admired how my husband handled everything. He rose above the situation instead of being crushed beneath it.

I wasn’t angry.
I was afraid.
I felt like a thread about to fray.

Four months after returning home, I became pregnant. And two months later, we lost our first baby.

That loss pierced me in a way words cannot fully explain.

It took time—much time—for me to truly understand what it meant to trust God fully. To let go of control. To stop looking back. To press forward into His will.

Pain, I learned, purifies the soul.

It humbles.
It strips.
And somehow, it refines.

I didn’t enjoy the pain—but I cherish what it revealed: I was never alone.

Jesus had been walking with me all along. I simply hadn’t noticed.

God showed me that true peace only comes through complete dependence on Him.

   “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

                                                      — Philippians 4:7

I am still a work in progress. I still fail at times.

But I resonate deeply with how Ajith Fernando, author of The Call to Joy and Pain, puts it:

   “Joy and pain are both aspects of the call of God for the Christian. The Bible even presents pain as a trigger for joy… how suffering draws us nearer to God, and how suffering makes us more effective in service.”

That truth changed everything for me.

Whether the pain is caused by your own decisions or by others—it does not limit God. He can work all of it into His divine plan for your life.

As Rick Warren says (and I wholeheartedly agree): God wastes nothing.

By His grace, I now see pain differently—God’s way.

Stand firm on His promises.
He will see you through.
God is good—and perfect—all the time.

So, how much pain can a man endure? I honestly don’t know.

But I do know this:

“God is faithful; He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
— 1 Corinthians 10:13

Keep your eyes on heaven, my friend.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
— Philippians 4:6

“I lift my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
— Psalm 121:1–2

You are not alone. And you will endure.